My sheets look like a crime scene.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
