i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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