conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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