I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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