we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize