Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
