I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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