There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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