What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
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