Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
