is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
