What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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