Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize