Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
