I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
