I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
