Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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