Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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