Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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