I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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