dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
