I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Can Purell be used as lube?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
