Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
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When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You pole danced in your parka.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
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Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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