is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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