pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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