we're blogging at a bar
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize