i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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