i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
