pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
