I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
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Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
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We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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