I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize