No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
