More tranny stories later!
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
