Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
