i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved