Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag