Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(916): View more from California

People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.

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(916): People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks. http://tfl.nu/z8b4

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(616): View more from Michigan

I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!

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(616): I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off! http://tfl.nu/woe1

Replies (50) Good night (3237) Bad night (586)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan

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(860): I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan http://tfl.nu/ukhl

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(408): View more from California

You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.

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(408): You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien. http://tfl.nu/6kyj

Replies (23) Good night (1740) Bad night (4069) Order T-Shirt
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(914): View more from New York

right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"

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(914): right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit" http://tfl.nu/7x3l

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(619): View more from California

surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.

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(619): surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk. http://tfl.nu/u5eo

Replies (4) Good night (1102) Bad night (3239) Order T-Shirt
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(912): View more from Georgia

Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina

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(912): Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina http://tfl.nu/x70u

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(559): View more from California

Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.

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(559): Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor. http://tfl.nu/6xcl

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(417): View more from Missouri

woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.

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(417): woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before. http://tfl.nu/td38

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(954): View more from Florida

My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??

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(954): My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted?? http://tfl.nu/5rk7

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(248): View more from Michigan

Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.

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(248): Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose. http://tfl.nu/kcg6

Replies (8) Good night (1314) Bad night (348)
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(940): View more from Texas

He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.

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(940): He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there. http://tfl.nu/awit

Replies (3) Good night (929) Bad night (371) Order T-Shirt
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(916): View more from California

I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake

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(916): I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake http://tfl.nu/x3na

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(818): View more from California

I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.

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(818): I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome. http://tfl.nu/6w7h

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(618): View more from Illinois

Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.

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(618): Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose. http://tfl.nu/98w1

Replies (2) Good night (814) Bad night (225) Order T-Shirt

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