Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags