either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize