Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
