I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
