i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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