the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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