just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
