I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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