he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
You know, be my cock's hype man.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
