But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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