Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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