I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
