he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize