1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
