The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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