Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
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He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
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Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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