I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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