Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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