They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
