haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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