Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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