Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize