I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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