A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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