im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
