one two three fourrrrnication!
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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