He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Enjoy the penises
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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