so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
