At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
