I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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