it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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